naivegalaxy

Hitchhiking in space of the soul

2006-03-31T13:54:00.000+03:00

Recently, I find more souls in the mood of the Marvin -The pazaranoid android robot Douglas Adams told about him @ Hithchiker's Guide to the Galaxy-
It is really bad...

Life. Don't talk to me about life.
Marvin the Paranoid Anroid
· Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.
Marvin the paranoid android
· I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed
Marvin the paranoid android
· I'm not getting you down at all, am I?
Marvin the paranoid android
· Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I don't know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed.
Marvin the paranoid android
· Funny, how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
Marvin the paranoid android
· Do you want me to sit in the corner and rust, or just fall apart where I'm standing?
Marvin the paranoid android
· Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water?
Marvin the paranoid android
· Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it.
Marvin the paranoid android
· My capacity for happiness, you could fit it into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.
Marvin the paranoid android
· Ha, but my life is a box of wormgears.
Marvin the paranoid android
· Wearly I sit here, pain and misery my only companions.
Marvin the paranoid android
· Why stop now just when I'm hating it?
Marvin the paranoid android

How can it be possible to avoid the mood ?

out of control

2005-08-16T12:42:00.000+03:00

It is really getting hard when it is out of your control. Work and corporate life is the peak of off-the control situations. You rarely get what you plan. One day you go to office for a 9:00 o'clock meeting and you suddenly find out that your are supposed to be somewhere less for another meeting. One day you live work at 18:00 with a wide smile on the face that you are going out early! With an instant call you are sent back to your desk for an urgent report and moreover you have to make phone calls to cancel the plans you have for the next 3 days including weekend. You belong to the firm for 7*24 -from their point of view- at least. From my point of view, I would prefer being the basak of arts, literature, nature, love and etc.
How can this dilemma can be solved I do not know yet. I do not claim that I would establish an alternative way of life ... this is unrealistic at the moment, but on the other hand the dreams should be kept live! Once you have started to lose your imagination and dream world... then it is done you absolutely belong to anything except for yourself!
Dear Emrah,
nice try:) but there was no man at all. It was especially for the ladies.
And I am sorry that I could not go to Pink Martini concert :(

@Kitchen

2005-08-01T09:28:00.000+03:00

The epilogue of a weekend session started at the kitchen. On Friday I was back home later than planned, nevertheless this could not refrain me from cooking a traditional Ottoman meal for my friends on Friday night. I had only 2 hours to prepare the the main course besides salad and Turkish borek (pasta). I should admit that I will not be able to make up all if Aslihan did not help with cleaning and cutting actions for all ingredients of the salad full of a variety of green vegetables. Meanwhile, it was my new oven that did not supported the process as it was supposed to. The aubergine were cooked in more than 1 hour. However,
at the end of this prolonged process of waiting for the oven it was a job of 5 minutes to finalize this special meal. The meat was ready. The table was set. The appetizer kept everybody busy while they were totally hungary! that they had being waiting for almost one hour!
Finally "Hunkar Begendi" was on our plates! This old traditional Ottoman meal is one of the best ones to taste.
Besides, the borek was at the oven! After eating the last borek at the table, it was around midnight. We were having Turkish coffee and tea. I cannot help myself telling that it was really delicious. As I told at the beginning this just the epilogue. I have not told yesterday and sunday yet :) You may be thinking that why she cooked Hunkar Begendi instead of simply preparing pasta or french-fries! It is another story, but briefly I can say that it was an output of an assertion and stubbornness! Once I claimed that I am able to cook such a sophisticated traditional meal, I would do it inevitably.
In the next entry you will find out who was/were with me at the weekend ? What plans we generated ? What kind of role Emrah would play in it ?

summer @ Istanbul

2005-07-28T09:08:00.000+03:00

This summer, all my holiday plans have been prevented by getting a new house. We are broke, we are out of money! So I am having holidays in the city! Whenever I am off, I make plans with one of my friends who are teacher and already at full-time holiday during summer. To me, in July, I work like 9:00 to 17:00. Normally it is like 8:00 to 19:00. So this is natural/informal part-time :)
Lastly, Gaye and I went to Heybeliada to swim. When it is not weekend it is nice there to have time free of destroying looks of magandas (mugies as Gaye calls them :). Anyway it was really nice and silent day away from the city but very close to it. Sometimes I find myself giving up plans due to the long ways to reach. We were not Fethiye or Kaş but we have not suffered the road. This week my city plans contains movies and concerts.
Recently I have seen SIN CITY which was a good copy of such a book. I felt like reading the book on the movie with animations. The characters were just for the their roles and they performed well. It is an original attempt. You may want not to miss it.
Tonight we are at the dilemma of having home party or going to Pink Martini concert. We are not still sure. So, summer at Istanbul is still nice as it used to be when we were at summer school! hope school-mates were here!

Humanity's dilemma, historians' helplessness

2005-07-18T16:21:00.000+03:00

With the disaster in London last week, I was shocked once more. It is strange that I can still get surprised against terrorist attacks, however it is inevitable when it comes to lost lives. It is really sad that after 3 thousand years, the history and humanity is still not able to tell about peace and harmony. The humanity and history is always told from the perspective of such concepts as development, welfare, enhancement, evolving etc. How can they dare to talk about development while the degree of violence of wars are not diminishing as well as their number. The humanity's development can only be acceptable when the historians could find the clues to write about peace!

new home!

2005-06-22T09:56:00.000+03:00

Dear friends I really appreciate your efforts to hold me inside the blog-circle. But Pfizer circle has got me already badly. I work at least 10 hours a-day and later I unfortunately lack any motivation to sit one more second in front of the screen for any reason.
Now, reviewing my calendar, I try to recall last 2 months.
At the end of April, we have met with Dimitri. (He is not a Greek, but “Rum” from Istanbul. We have been dating. Actually he is one the 1,200 people causing all of these Turk-Rum political dilemmas. I am discovering the dynamics of Rum society living at İstanbul. Togather we enjoy a lot. This a relationship free of future commitments, because from his point of statu, it is impossible to carry our relationship forward. We live th day!
At the beginning of May, I have visited my doc at Ankara fot my regular glaucoma checks. The results of this visit has caused a short-run anxiety. The young assistant (who is a fresh specialist at the momentJ ) of my professor noticed that I had high-eye-tension (glaucoma). It assigned me regular hospital visits 2 times a day for 3 days long. I was worried, but luckily it is found out to be below the standard limits. However, I once more extracted a good event from this 2 days anxiety. I have made an eye-specialist doc friend. Now I am looking for a job for him in Istanbul. It will be nice to have close eye specialist around me.
At the end of May, I have joined 10th year reunion of BAL (high school) at Cesme. It was a nice holiday recalling all the childhood memories. Emrah, let Sevi hear this J
With June, my business travels started. I have attended the year beginning meeting of Pfizer with all of his employees at Antalya (almost 1,000 employees from all over Turkey). Then, we went to Bodrum (not for holiday but to work!). We -three colleagues- organized a one-week meeting for 140 members of marketing and sales. This was my first big activity at Pfizer. It was really tiring and stressful. I have not even swum more than 30 minutes in a week. Moreover, I had cold badly.
Now, I am at the office and it is regular reporting week. I do not have any time even to design my new home. I will be moving in a week. Next time you are in Istanbul, I will be having you in my new house at Etiler. I am really excited about it.
Lastly, I have to mention that I have been at the concert of Emig Igus and Vedat Sakman. Emrah, Emin started his concert with “Dut Agaci”. Last night I have once more decided that I love compositions of Vedat Sakman sung by Zuhal Olcay. They are really nice when Vedat plays and Zuhal sings them. So this my brief about last 2 months. In July, I will be around in İstanbul. I have postponed all of my holiday plans. After buying a house, I am broke and have to save money to fill in it.
So you are all invited to my home. (At the entrance of Etiler on the right hand side, very close to Dunya Goz Hastanesi: Nispetiye Cd. Peker Sk. Derya Apt. No:12)

looking for a house

2005-04-18T12:53:00.000+03:00

I have been busy with the search of a new house in Istanbul on the European side. It is really a big issue to find the right house to buy. I am very pessimistic about it and I hvae every reason to be. I do not have enough time to contact the real-estaters, not even to see all the options available... I have been able to dedicate a piece of time to update my blog, and gaze at all yours.

This is the last news from Istanbul. If you hear someone selling her/his house on European side let me know :) I am desperate enough even to tell you living outdooors miles away.
c u soon PS: I hope to be reporting from my new home next time sooon :)

calender pages going over my head

2005-02-22T13:46:00.000+02:00

It is hard to believe that it is even the end of the second month of this new year. I have been so over-loaded that I could not even catch up with updating the calender pages. Today is 22nd of February… how time goes by… It is nice on the one hand that I do not have to get lost in deep analysis; however it is disturbing to lose control over it. (ref: Asuman’s “control freakness” theory)
Asuman, she uzed to be my rommate at the university dormitory for 3 years, insists that both of us are control-freak. This is another deep issue which deserves at least one-post dedication.
Anyway, I have done myself a favor and re-started Spanish courses. I am attending the courses of Fernando who is normally teaching at Cervantes. However, we are paying to him almost the half at the Cuba Felllowship Association. So it is really nice to have Spanish Spanish-lecturer. I have to do my homework now.

Snow-queeen, sunshine twins

2005-02-07T15:32:00.000+02:00

Snow-queen and sunshine-twins
At the week-end one of my childhood friends Ece was at İstanbul. I have been inviting her for ages and she has come with the snow. The single weekend that has snow at İstanbul this winter. Despite the cold we have been rolling around İstanbul.
Ece teaches literature at high school in Eskisehir. Our families have been freinds and so are we. During the university years we got closer. She has an original sense of humour, and more valuable to me is she is candid and frank enough to speak thoughts out.
At the weekend, we had great time. I gave her a city tour from Besiktas to Hisar, then up to the campus and to Taksim and lastly through Tesvikiye back home at Besiktas.
At the campus I was surprised to find “Orat Kantin” to be renovated. It does not deserve “orta” middle label any more indeed J
It is beter than “average”. All the banks at “Manzara” place have been changed with Brown-wooden ones. They look great.
For years, Ece (her name means queen ;) has never believed that I could cook, and even can do any house-work. At the end of this weekend, she has been convinced that I am a good-cook. I got pass with my vegetable soup, börek (pasta), salad and breakfast designs.
The day before she came I cook for Murat and his cousins. They are two wonderful women studying industrial design at METU. They are incredibly energic, sincere, warm, bright and pretty. They are inspiring and source of hope for life. They are shinning wherever they visit at one condition: two as one. They made a team. I am glad to meet both Aslı and Nil at once. It is almost impossible to see them one by one.

to be continued is to be continued

2005-02-04T16:46:00.000+02:00

This is my third try to post... the last two one had blew up as I was just ready to to post them... I have written 2 whole pages and I have lost them...
I cannot beleive that this blog posting turned out to be nightmare...
Anyway Emrah is right that I have not been home for Ages... I have been home (Izmir - Symirna) for holiday. Befora and after then that I have been out for several activities. Last week I have seen Moliere's famous character describing "stinginess" I do not know the original world for it. The performance of Haluk BILGINE was fabolous... He is enjoying his golden age.
MORE... I have also seen the play of Ferhan SENSOY whom also wrote the play. e is another outstanding figure of Turkish theater. ..
to be continued... I ahev to hurry hoem, cause I am expecting friends for dinner.
you are also welcome... hey u the ones at Detroit, and UK, Leman u should come tooo.
love

2005-01-08T20:22:00.000+02:00

I have not been home for days. I have been either at work or out! In last 3 weeks, it is 1 or at most 2 days that I was @ home. I have had my time around Taksim or at friend's places. All started after a job-training at Taksim three weeks ago. Quitting the training around 18:00 at Taksim I had the chence to roll around. That night ended up at a cafe. Next evening, I was again there at Taksim for the play "Bedrettin". Seeing the play, I have surprisingly realized that I have known very few about him. In terms of thetral performance it was not the best one I have ever seen, but it was nice to learn more about.
The other evening, we went to shopping for a dvd set again, but this time for a friend's of Murat. Murat, one of my best friends in Istanbul. called me to join them for shopping. He came with one of his colleague from Sabancı University. I wanted to buy the same dvd set I had just put into service at home. anyway, after the shopping we were again at Taksim for teaa. The friend of Murat, I don't remeber his name, has not felt well. Anyway, after saying good-bye to him, we had coffee at Taksim . ...
to be continued

"besotted aesthete, obsessed moralist & zealot of seriousness" died

2004-12-30T11:59:00.000+02:00

Carlos Fuentes, the Mexican novelist, once said "I know of no other intellectual who is so clear-minded with a capacity to link, to connect, to relate. She is unique."
Today, every newspaper unfortunately mentions the death of Susan Sontag. You like her books or not, for sure she has been an outlier. She was courageous to object and criticise USA policies.
Discovering these outstanding minds and souls togather both in a body is exciting.

Happy Hope'less'ness

2004-12-28T13:17:00.000+02:00

It has been a tough week. Last week, almost every night I was out for one or another reason. I have found myself at Taksim at the end with different groups of friends and within different contexts. On the other hand, as some of you may already know; I always try to be a good householder. I pay attention to being tidy, clean and ready for having guests anytime. So, last week challenged me. I was busy at work. I had outdoors city activities and meanwhile I have runned home-related tasks.

None of them hit me as much a realizing that I am in love with another man after many years dedication to a single soul. (Selmin and Emrah definitely knows what I am talking about!!!)

I have already achieved to cut my soul-connection with him 2 years before. So that I am not even disturbed with his engagement news on the weekend. Se la vie...

The wall I hit this time is called with another name luckily... I know him already. I do not know him exactly. But it does not matter... To the guy I am in love, I have no rational access. Thus, that must be the reason that I am in love with him. I like puzzling things and conflicts. Once I slightly got close to start PhD on conflict-resolution. Anyway, I like conflicting issues. I do not like simple things unfortunately. One of the cleverest intellectual guys told me once that "Do u have to intellectualize anything you are interested ?" that's my problem.

I do not feel complete if I cannot deepen it.

Well, let me tell you the obstacles which make it impossible and unsolvable for me to be with him. He has a girlfriend that he loves. She is away and he is loyal. The end of the story is obvious. But I cannot stop myself being interested. Se la vie, Se la amour...

Hopeless situation in return which makes it more attractive then he is.

After all, the only good thing about the whole situation that I can feel it again for anyone else!

to be continued...

..sorry for her, for him, sorry for all...

2004-12-27T18:12:00.000+02:00

I have had lots on my mind on the weekend. However, with the news of disaster; everything drew back on my self agenda and this destructing trouble kept me in front of the TV for hours.

Today, I had got other bad news too. One of my friends lost her boyfriend. He died in her arms. She tries to survive; it will take her some time to normalize.
One of my other friends broke up with his girlfriend with whom he has been in love for months. They work at the same office. They had to meet evey single day.

None of these is worse then other personal or global... they all cummulated and made me upset today. During the day I have deeply felt an ache moving in my body form my head to stomach and back the way up. I feel the pain ...

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.

2004-12-17T15:43:00.001+02:00

... what if I do not want to be skilfull anymore... it is really obsessive to be skilful and successful. it is because of being result-oriented rather than the process itself. the output is more valued by others, while the process is by you. If we do not care for the others and social perception etc. why are we so obssessed with the outputs.. it could be to an extent for the sake of ourselves. I am tired of trying harder and harder for anything. life makes you inevitably skillful. what if I do not want anymore...
I do not claim that life should be easier but it could just be simplier. I am aware that I personally have an intention to complexify everything. I could not retain myself deepening them. I am instilling to myself that I could simplfy my way of perception, consequently things will go on simplier...
I want to sail on smooth seas... I cannot smoothen the sea but I can navigate the boat to an other road, if it is not drawn already.
In principle I quit computuring on the weekends; even not for emails, dvds, etc. so see till monday. byebye. I will be around Istanbul on the weekend.

NEW! at net-world

2004-12-06T23:06:00.000+02:00

I have been used to avoiding anything about the net.

However, the world in here gets u sooner or later. This inevitable convergence paves the way to compromise rather than resistance.